Pre-Marathon Thoughts

I am forcing myself to blog today. Don’t know why, but I’ve felt completely uninspired on this front lately. Yet there’s a lot going on in my life and it feels like there are some milestones that deserve mentioning.

Sunday is the Austin Marathon. Marathon #4 of 4 in 4 months for me. Marathon #13 in total.

To simply say that I've been thinking a lot about the marathon would be a colossal understatement. Truth be told, it has completely taken over my thoughts. I've wanted to write about it up here, but each time I try, I get overwhelmed and don't even know where to begin. So, I've decided that, instead of trying it all at once, I'll just chip away here and there on various topics.

About this time before my previous marathons I started to worry. I worried that my legs were tired and heavy, that I wouldn't be able to run my goal time, that from the gun I would feel sluggish and struggle the entire way. I worried I hadn't trained enough, should have done another long run in there somewhere, or that I had trained too hard and my legs just weren't going to recover. I thought I might get over these pre-race jitters as I became more experienced with the marathon but it hasn't happened yet. This marathon is no different. Those same fears are starting to creep back in.

I know in a way they are irrational thoughts. I always think my legs are just going to feel stupendous, like I'm running on clouds, when I'm tapering. I should know by now that that's just not how my body responds. When I cut back on training my legs usually feel heavier and I get to feeling a little lethargic. It doesn't really make sense but that's how I've always been and I should accept the fact that it's likely not going to change. On race day they will be fine, like they always are, and if not, I'm still going to run the race and do the best I can. Around this time I also start to worry about all the little aches and pains that I feel. My foot is bugging me some, but I know that come race day I'll get on the line and run no matter what and it will be okay.

One of the biggest things that worries me is one that is completely out of my control: the weather or, more specifically, the heat and humidity predicted for race day. I've never been great at running in high temps, but I was able to acclimate myself fairly well over the course of last summer. Trouble is that I haven't been able to adjust yet this year, so if we have a warm day on the 20th down in Austin, I could be up shit creek, as they say.

I’m also a bit worried about the hills. There are lots of them on this course. Lots.

What is helping with these nerves is some perspective. Regardless of what happens Sunday, a PR, a slower time than I had hoped for, life will go on. My husband and my family and my friends will still love me. I'll still wake up the next morning with my health and my job. It sounds so silly that I have to reassure myself of these truths, but I'm going to admit here on my blog that I do!

My best estimate Sunday is about a 3:15. My main goal is to have fun, then run fast. We'll see how it goes.