Perhaps I Missed My Calling as a Librarian

A lot of people don't know this, but one of my favorite things in the world other than running is reading. I am definitely a reading nerd, and if I could run and read at the same time, I would be in heaven.

I probably have my mom to thank for this, as she was a reading teacher for years and taught me the love of books. I am very picky about my books. For one, I refuse to get a kindle or any sort of e-reader. I need to hold a book in my hand. I need to bury my nose in it and let it tell me if it’s from the library, the used bookstore, or that mega store in the burbs. I want its spine showing on my bookshelf or in the growing piles I have around the house. I want to enjoy the artwork on the front, the colors chosen for the cover.

I do not like to lend books, particularly my favorite ones, because I worry they will never return to me. I'm selfish with them. I know a lot of people who give away their books after reading them, but I like to keep them (evident by our overflowing bookshelves).

I am also a big fan of the public library. I always have been. I spend a good amount of time there. I know Dan thinks this is weird, as a lot of old people and children hang out there, but I love the quiet reprieve and wealth of knowledge that it provides.

I'm pretty sure I missed my career calling as a Librarian. I don't know why I never thought to become a Librarian. Did you know you can get a degree in Library Sciences? I did not. Can I trade mine for one of those?

Anyway, while I would normally write today off as a crappy day after a not so great run this morning and a lingering stomach ache all day, I have been super excited all day for one reason: the new book by my favorite author, Jodi Picoult, came out today. I've had this date circled on my calendar and been looking forward to it since I plowed through her last book in less than 24 hours. I have her listed as one of my reserved authors at the library, meaning I'm one of the first in line to get her new books when they come out. I receive an email from the library when the book is ready for pick-up, but I am so impatient/excited/over eager, that if I didn't have an email from the library by the end of the work day today, I was headed out to buy the book after work. But, I received an email this afternoon from the library saying my book was ready for pick-up, so I dashed out over and grabbed it. I'm now rather impatiently counting down the work day so I can head home start reading my new book. Book Nerd? I think so.


Jodi Picoult's new book. If you haven't read her, you should.

Probably my all-time favorite book ever. If you are a dog person, this is a must read.

Have any book reccomendations for me? Send them my way!

Pulling the Plug

So, I had to pull the plug on my semi-secret race coming up this weekend. I didn't tell many people, but I was supposed to go to Houston this weekend and run the Woodlands Marathon on Saturday. I wasn't planning to run it fast, but I was really craving the excitement of a race, plus I have some friends running and was looking forward to seeing them, and in my over-eager mind I thought I go run this race on a whim and be totally fine.

But, after a series of unfortunate long runs, I had to pull the plug. It should have never been plugged in anyway. I am fine for the first 14 miles of a long run then BAM my leg starts to hurt. And, then continues to hurt for the rest of the day. Two weeks ago this happened, and I was hoping it was a fluke so my approach this past week was to run only every other day and see how a long run would go for me this Saturday. The exact same thing happened again this week- feeling great until Mile 14, then the pains sets in. Unfortunately, the pain arrives whether I am running fast or slow. I spent the rest of the day Saturday trying to decide whether to pull the plug on the Woodlands marathon or to persevere and hope for a miracle.

I decided to pull the plug. Not only was I not very confident I could finish the 26.2, I was even more worried about the damage I might do if I attempted such a feat. Talking this over and over with Dan the past 2 weeks, who was looking at my situation objectively, the choice was obvious to him: Forget about this marathon, keep your runs short for the next few weeks and heal for Boston. But as every runner who has ever failed to pick up a race number knows, cold hard reason doesn’t always prevail in such situations. I desperately wanted to run this marathon, mostly just to prove to myself I could. But, I decided to follow my head instead of my heart and sit this one out. Unfortunately, I missed the deadline to switch to the half-marathon (which I should have signed up for in the first place), so I am left shit out of luck.

I'm going to back off on my mileage and try to get healthy so this pain in my ass will no longer be a pain in the ass. Running every other day seems to be the best option for me right now and also pretty obvious that I should not be running longer than 12-13 miles at a time. I'm also going to switch gears from "running mode" to "triathlon mode" and focus more on cycling/swimming as they don't bother my leg/hip/glute and lord knows they could both use some work. I've been doing some workouts on my bike trainer on non-running days, and my leg always seems to feel better after spinning.

I am also going to seek the guidance again of my trusty friend/coach who helped me through my Ironman. I already had Buffalo Springs Lake Half-Ironman on my schedule in June, and I completely trust him to get me to the starting line healthy and ready to go. He's always said I run too much while training for these longer triathlons, and left to my own devices it's obvious I tend to sway that way.

So, Saturday, instead of toeing the line at the Woodlands Marathon, it looks like I am going to be loading up my bike and heading to Bastrop instead. There's an organized ride out there, Pedal thru the Pines, that's calling my name....

Things That Make Me Happy Today

I feel like I've been Debbie Downer lately (literally Debbie Downer. Little known fact: Debra is my first name, but I go by my middle name, Erin). Anyway, it's time to get over myself. Here are some things that make me happy today!

I had an email from Adidas Running this morning that the 2012 Boston Marathon Gear has arrived! I love buying gear (evident from my entire dresser full of running gear) and I love all things Boston Marathon related. This email got me really excited about Boston. For both the marathon and the Guinness. :)

I received this email today. Any thing Boston makes me smile.

This year's Boston Marathon Jacket.  Me likey.

This guy makes me smile. This is Flash. He's ALWAYS in a good mood. I wish I could be more like him. 

These shorts from Lululemon. I bought them yesterday. Happy Fat Tuesday to me!

This core workout DVD that arrived yesterday. I'm pretty leery of workout DVD's but this is an a$$ kicker.  I tried it out today and it's 50 min of torture. I shit you not.

Today was a non-run day for me. I usually hate non-run days. But, not today. Instead I had Coach Troy kick my butt  and put me on the verge of puking with one of his Spinerval Workouts. If you have a spin bike or a bike trainer, I highly recommend the Spineral workouts.

What makes you happy today? Happy Wednesday!

The Goals Post

I’ve been avoiding this post because while I’ve been spending lots of time thinking about my goals since my Phoenix fail/damn injury, however I’ve had a hard time articulating the many thoughts and feelings going through my head lately.
I had big goals headed into the year, however life happens and things change sometimes, and I had to re-evaluate not only my goals but how running was going to fit into my life this year.

The bottom line is that my goal is not to have any goals this year. While that may sound like a cop-out, the decision came after deep thought, reflection, and knowing what’s best for myself right now. And, while it may sound easy not to have any goals and just take on running care free right now, it’s actually VERY HARD for me.

For the past two years, I’ve had huge goals that I’ve been chasing down. I did an Ironman. I completed a 50-miler. I completed countless marathons and half-ironmans. I chased PR after PR. And, while the highs of these accomplishments were extremely HIGH they also came with some extreme LOWS (post-race let down, disappointment when not performing well, and wondering ‘what’s next.’).

I would be lying if I didn’t say at times – and more and more as of late – running has transformed into a pressure filled hobby for me. Some people are just really hard on themselves. And, I am one of those people. I have been letting numbers on a clock affect me way more than it should. I am not a professional runner; this is not my job and it never will be – so why I am letting training and race performances make or break me? Why do I let them define me?

Why do I put pressure on myself?

Why do you put pressure on yourself? This is a question I have been pondering recently. Why do I beat myself up about things that often do not really matter?

By pressuring myself to chase down numbers – and honestly chase down numbers that are unrealistic for me right now- I only make myself miserable, and I will actually hurt my performance.

There is only pressure in a situation if I put it on myself. Nothing is that important. It’s all small stuff. If others disapprove or think I should be running this or that -- who cares? There is no pressure because there is no exact right way to do things. There is no pressure because there is nothing I have to do in a given situation. I need to constantly ask myself: At what point am I pushing myself too hard? Where is the line between bringing out the toughness (physical, emotional and mental) and pushing myself too hard?

My self-esteem and self-worth should not determined by how I perform at a certain race or whether others judge me as being fast or slow. In my own life, I know that putting myself under pressure is not the best way to get the best out of me. So, why do it?

I thought back to when I first started running. My first thought when I laced up was not obsessive thoughts about what the clock would read when I crossed the finish line, where I would place in my age group and whether or not I would PR. My only goal was to go out there and do the best I could. And, when I think out it, I’ve had some of my best races when I’ve gone in without any expectations. I need that mindset back.

I’ve had a love-hate relationship with running lately. My runs have been incredibly humbling. I want to be running at the level I was at in the Fall/Winter, but I am not and it tests my patience every single day.

And, while I’d like to say I’ve handled these bad runs with grace and acceptance, I haven’t. I’ve been letting them affect me way too much. I have unrealistic expectations of myself right now, and the only way for me to get rid of them is to wipe the slate clean and look at running with a new attitude. Therefore my goal is to have no goals, other than to simply be thankful of the ability to run. I have a semi-secret race coming up on March 3 where I’ll put this attitude to test.

This particular song by Florence + the Machine “Shake It Out” resonates quite well with my thoughts on running right now…

Road Trip?

In my inbox this morning.

Congratulations Erin Ruyle. You have qualified for the 2012 USA Triathlon Olympic Distance National Championship after finishing in the top 10 percent in your age group at the Kerrville Triathlon. 

Vermont in August sounds much better than Texas in August...

The 2012 USA Triathlon Olympic Distance National Championship will be held in Burlington, Vermont, on August 18. Registration is currently open. This event is expected to sell out, so be sure to sign up soon.

The USA Triathlon Olympic Distance National Championship is the nation's premier Olympic-distance event with the top age group athletes from all 50 states forming one of the most prestigious fields in the sport. Athletes from each age group will qualify to represent Team USA at the 2013 International Triathlon Union World Championships in London, England.

For more information on the 2012 USA Triathlon Olympic Distance National Championship, please visitwww.USATNationalEvents.org. Please note: athletes must be current USA Triathlon annual members through August 18, 2012, before registering. You may renew your membership at www.usatriathlon.org.

Isn't Vermont the home of Ben & Jerry's? If that's not reason enough to go, I don't know what is.

Dear Monday...

Dear Running,
I love you! It's sooooo good to be back reunited with you. Thank you for the 15 miles early Saturday morning with friends and the solo recovery miles on Sunday in the park. Boy, did I enjoy them both!

Dear Left Leg,
Thank you for allowing me to run pain free. I will try my best not to piss you off again.

Dear Dan,
Tomorrow is Valentines Day, in case you forgot. In case you were wondering what to get me, either another basset hound or anything from Lululemon will do. Oh, and don't forget the roses. I deserve roses, right?

Dear Work,
You're stressing me out. Quit that.

Dear Channing Tatum,
Thank you for taking your shirt off in several scenes of "The Vow." You made the movie ten times better by doing so.

Dear Younger Brother,
You are turning 30 on Wednesday. Happy Birthday. You're officially OLD. Sucka.

Dear Neighbors,
Those are my leg stretches I am doing while laying on the ground in the driveway every morning post-run. In case you were wondering.

Dear Dogs,
You are getting way too heavy to be lap dogs. 140 pounds of basset in my lap every evening does not make for a comforting TV watching position.

Dear Ben Flajnik,
Get rid of the devil Courtney of this evening's episode of the Bachelor. Please and thank you.

XOXO,
Erin

The Highs & Lows of Being Injured

In all of my 33 years, this was the first injury I've suffered. Through playing soccer growing up, and now to running and triathlons, I never had a broken bone, knee problems, foot problems, strained ligaments, etc etc,. Nada. So, while I was less than thrilled to have to be on the sidelines for a few weeks, I am thankful that I am not injury plagued and do not deal with these issues often. I tend to believe that everything happens for a reason, so I wanted to be sure to take away some insight from this experience, and I did. Here are some highs and lows from my hiatus from running.

Let's start with the highs:

1. Hands-down, the best thing that came out of this was the extra time I got to spend with family and friends. I tend to constantly be in training mode and get in an inflexible and rigid schedule with tunnel eye vision always ahead to my next race. I have my set schedule and don't like to stray from it. This means I tend to be in bed early on the weekends and say no to social engagements that will keep me up too late. In other words, I can be pretty lame. Without having a run on tap every morning before the sun shines, I found myself saying yes to more things. Yes to evening engagements with Dan and friends. Yes to Happy Hour. Yes to live music that starts when I'm normally going to bed.

YES to Happy Hour at Gloria's!

YES to hanging out with this guy. He's sexy and he knows it.
(This picture is payback for something I'm sure)
(This is my shirt BTW)

YES to cuddling with my favorite basset, Flash

YES to spending extra time with sweet Lulu

2. Sleeping In. Especially on the weekends. Usually I'm up by 5:15-5:30 am on the weekends to meet friends or head out on my own for an early morning long run. Without this option, I actually got to enjoy Saturday and Sunday mornings getting out of bed after the sun had risen. The pool didn't open until 9 am on Saturday and 1:30 pm on Sunday, so there was no need for me to get up so early. This also made my Friday and Saturday nights less lame. I will make a point to sleep in more often post-injury.

3. A Greater Appreciation of Running and Life in General. Hurting my leg brought many challenges I had never expected to face. Knowing I couldn't run for several weeks was a difficult cross to bear. For me, 2-3 weeks seemed like a life time. It not only made me sad, but it also made me angry. I felt cheated because I lost something that I loved, and I simply had to wait to get it back. However, my leg injury has pushed me to grow. During this injury, a friend of ours passed away unexpectedly. While I was sitting there feeling sorry for myself for not being able to run, his family would give anything just to have him back. I can't run? Boo hoo. At least I'm here, alive and otherwise healthy. My problems and sadness are minuscule in comparison. Not only have I discovered a greater appreciation for my life and what I still have, but also I can still see how running impacts my life. The injury has boosted my appreciation for running. I missed running so badly that I now feel ready to train and race with a renewed passion.

4. Being a Triathlete. Being a triathlete (or, a runner who does triathlons as I like to refer to myself) I was lucky to have swimming and biking to fall back on. I could swim my little heart out. I was blessed during this period not only to know how to swim, but to have 2 pools at my disposal to use free of charge. Had I not had these options available, even though they might not be my first choice for workouts, I would have been in a lot worse of a mood.

5. Trying New Things. I did something during my injury I had never before: I swam a 5k. As Jay-z says (yes, I am quoting Jay-Z): "That shit cray." No desire to do that again, but happy to say I've done it.

And Now for the Lows

1. Runner's High. People who don't run don't understand the state of euphoria most of us receive while running. I missed starting my day with the runner's high. While I stayed active, other sports just don't provide the same type of high as running does.

2. Diet. Despite my best efforts (okay, maybe not my best efforts), I suck at portion control and tracking every single thing that goes into my pie hole. I did great for a few days before I got annoyed with measuring the amount of cheese and salad dressing I put on my salad. Having more free time also meant more likeliness for us to go out to eat (could have taken that time to learn how to cook but missed the boat on that one). Plus, I find I eat a lot out of habit - 8 pm = dessert time, but the more I focused on not having that dessert at 8 pm, the more I wanted it. I refuse to become to become a slave to calories and numbers (did too much of that in college, which is why I no longer even own a scale and have no idea what I weigh). While I'm certain I gained a few pounds, my pants still fit so game on.

3. Mood. As much as I tried to not feel sorry for myself, there were days when I was just downright bitchy and pissed off because I couldn't go for a run. When work got crazy busy the last few weeks, all I wanted to do was go for a run to relieve the stress - a swim just wasn't going to cut it. I think the most important skill you can develop is that of coping with the emotional effects of forced downtime. Most running injuries don’t hurt all day long or compromise your ability to function outside of running. But they sure can make you frustrated and depressed all day long. I would like to formally apologize to my husband, co-workers and friends who may have encountered me on one of my (many) bitchy day(s!). Nothing personal; just non-running bitterness.

4. Loss of speed. This part sucks donkey balls. I can't say I expected to take a few weeks off and come back to running at the same speed I was pre-injury. I haven't done speed work in about a month, and if you don't use it, you lose it. And, I am seriously just excited to be back running whether it be at 9 min pace or 7 min pace. But, I won't lie and say it's not somewhat frustrating for a pace that was once easy to now be somewhat uncomfortable. I know my speed will come back. Patience Young Grasshopper.

5. Boston training/Re-evaluating Goals. Obviously, I haven't been able to follow my Boston training plan that I was banking on leading me to a sub-3:10 marathon. This week's plan calls for 66 miles. Obviously that is not going to happen either. I know getting back into training, I have to be smart about it. After my recovery, I can't attempt to start back at the same level of running as before the injury. This has led to some re-evaluation of my marathon goals which I will go into in another post. In a nutshell, I am not going to be chasing down numbers this Spring. I don't need that stress or pressure on myself right now. I need to go back to what I did when I initially got into this sport: running for the pure enjoyment of running.

So, there you have it: my highs and lows of my first forced break from running!

Running Update

I've been MIA lately, not because I don't have anything to say, but because I haven't been able to find the time to update or keep up with social media.

So, here's the best news first: I am running pain free! I kept my mileage very low last week (under 30 miles for the week, which for me is basically another rest week). Sunday I went out for an 8 mile run, my longest run since Phoenix, and I felt good. The key, I knew, would be to see how I felt the next day. Monday rolled around, and I was able to knock out another good run, no pain present. Same for Tuesday and this morning. I am pleased to see I haven't lost endurance, however, I have lost some speed. It will come back, though. I'm just happy to be running again.
'
I'll be back with lessons learned through this process, my running plans for the Spring & Summer and the highs and lows of being injured.

" Believe in yourself, know yourself, deny yourself, and be humble."
-John Treacy

Race Directing

I am in charge of a race called Cupid's Chase 5k, which is this Saturday. This is part of my job as the Marketing and Special Events Coordinator for the City's Parks & Rec Department. Maybe if it were my only job, I wouldn't be such a big ball of stress right now, but it's not. This, among other important work deadlines, has left me running through to-do lists in my head in the middle of the night, and made me just a tad frazzled this week. To be honest though, I put a lot of it on myself. Obviously, I have a vested interest in running. So, if I am going to put on a race, I am going to put on the best race I possibly can.

This week has been crazy. I've barely been on social media at all (which is an indication that I'm really busy -because as Dan says - I can't live without my social media fix). I've barely had time to eat (another indication that I'm stressed and really busy, because I sure as hell never miss meals). I feel like I've been ignoring my bassets (major sads)- it's been get home from work and go straight to bed. I've written before what it's like to be a race director, and every year it gets harder and harder, and I get more and more appreciative of race directors who put on events way greater than mine.

True story: I am a perfectionist. I do not like to depend on anyone, I like to do everything myself, and I do not like when things are out of my control. But here's the thing with race directing. So you plan and plan. You have all your water stations manned, signs posted, participants registered, T-shirts ordered. You are the most organized race director on the planet. You still need to be prepared for anything.

When you’re planning a race, you pretty much have total control of how you’re planning it. Once the gun fires, it has a life of its own. Now it’s in the hands of volunteers – lets say several hundred volunteers you may have never met before. They’re manning barricades, handling registration and packet pick-up, taking care of duties at the finish line, in charge of shuttling runners (because of course, I made my race a point-to-point = logistical nightmare) – anyway, they’re doing all the difficult duties necessary and executing the plan that you produced.


And most of the time it goes well. Sometimes people don’t show up where and when they’re supposed to. The police officers may not be in place where they are supposed to. The barricades are out of place. Or the shuttle buses are late. There’s a trickle down effect. Come race day, you’re depending on so many other people. The hope is that you’ve educated them well enough and that they've actually paid attention. This is one of my major stresses.

And then there’s the weather. Last year we got ice and snow in Texas THE DAY BEFORE MY RACE. The decision was made (not by me) to cancel the race. The next day (RACE DAY) it was 70 and sunny. Take a moment to imagine the backlash I received on that one. You can’t control whether your race day will be sunny or full of thunderstorms. You should plan for the worst and hope for the best. Could be cold. Could be hot. Could be windy. Could be rainy. Could be beautiful. And you’re sending people off down city roads and into communities. You can’t personally control it all, and you don’t know whether someone’s going to pull their car out of the driveway or whether some little kid will run out in the middle of the race. I do the best I can to control the course and what goes on out there as best as possible. I drive myself crazy thinking of every possible scenario.

 My race currently has 600 people registered a few days out from the race. I couldn't be more ecstatic and more petrified at the same time. This is BIG for a small town 5k and we've already hit record numbers. Can we handle this many runners? With good weather, we could easily hit 700 runners by the time the gun goes off at 8:30 AM on Saturday morning. It's more than I hoped for and makes me so happy. Georgetown is not a very easy city to get approval for a 5k. In fact, it's about to get even harder to put on a 5k here. I feel like this race can make a feel statement: we have a great running community, and we are here to stay. Most 5k's in town draw 175-250 runners, so I'd like to think that the little things I've done for the race since I took over - new & fast course, nice awards, better designed shirts,better organization and easier registration process, have actually made a difference.

While I probably won't sleep much before Saturday's race, I'm ready to put on a good event. Next time you race - please thank your race directors. They work harder than you know.