Decisions

It's been a little while since I have last posted...and that by no means indicates that nothing is going on.

I had decided a few weeks ago to give the Ironman training a go after battling with the decision to withdraw for several weeks. I met with Coach Shawn last Friday; Disney races had passed and it was time to really beef up on my biking for the remainder of the training period, which also meant cutting back quite a bit on my running. Just to give you an idea of the next three weeks training, he had me running once a week and biking four times per week. Several of those rides were long hours on the bike trainer. Suffice to say I would rather poke my eye out than ride my bike trainer.

Over the weekend I became down right jealous of some other friends who are taking this year to step back from all of the racing and let life fill in the blanks. I tried to get excited and knock out the workouts, but I just couldn’t get there mentally. And, I really just wanted to run.

It’s no secret that I really don’t like to ride my bike for extended periods of time. After about 50-60 miles, I’m really starting to hate life. If I could get away with doing an Ironman with little bike training, I would. Unfortunately, there really is no halfway in the Ironman. Just to reach the finish line and meet all the time splits along the way requires quite a lot of preparation.

For many, reaching the Ironman finish line just once is their main objective. Certainly it's a worthy goal, because it makes you a member of a very special family.

However, there are some who return year after year to yet another Ironman and it becomes a constant cycle of training, dieting, racing and sacrificing all else to relive the magic.

I know from experience, what a heavy toll this can take on your body and also the family, career and social aspects of your life. It became extremely important over the last few months for me to consider if I wanted to do that again this year.

Not to make this sound like some light decision...because if you know me...you know that I take my athletic commitments very seriously and to change my mind about a goal I set and the training I was going to do...It's a pretty big deal...and of course full of emotions...sigh...

It became clear to me this week that 2011 is not my year for Ironman. I was skipping my bike workouts and running instead. Then I would feel incredibly guilty for skipping my bike workouts and beat myself up over it. And, the thought of spending all weekend on my bike made me want to throw a temper tantrum (and I did). I just am not into it this year; and with that mindset, training would become a chore, and I would be miserable. Unlike last year, I'm not willing to force everything else in my life to take a backseat to the 140.6 mile mission.

I want to focus on my running. I want to spend time more with my husband. I want to spend more time with my friends. I want to focus on work. I want to volunteer more. I want to try new things (already got my mind on ballroom dancing lessons with Dan! Boxing classes at the Rec! Zumba!). Then I realized no one is holding a gun to my head forcing me to do the Ironman. That is the beauty of freedom of choice.

So, I am withdrawling from Ironman Texas and moving forward. No looking back, no regrets. This is the right decision for ME. I’m picking up the San Diego Rock & Roll Marathon in June, so I have an “A” race to work towards. I’m also going to train for my first Ultra – the JFK 50 miler in November.

Maybe I’ll be back to Ironman another year. Maybe I won’t.

Thanks for reading.