Jean Rant

I'm taking a break today from training talk to discuss something that has been bothering me: Blue jeans fit lousy these days. I cannot for the life of me find a pair of blue jeans that fits my body properly.

I am fortunate enough to work in an office where it is acceptable to wear blue jeans on a daily basis; and everyone does. I, of course, would like to follow suit. The problem is that I only have three pairs of blue jeans that fit me well; and only two are appropriate for an office setting (don't think the ones with the 'fashionable' holes in the knees will make the cut). However, after discovering a hole in the crotch last week in one of the pairs I regularly wear, I know only have one pair if suitable blue jeans. And, I am getting tired of wearing the same blue jeans to work every day (and I am sure everyone is tired of seeing them).

It has always been difficult for me to find jeans that fit properly due to my curvy body type. It was gotten 10x worse with Ironman/Marathon training (lost weight in my waist but my legs are more muscular)and the new style of blue jeans in general. When I get jeans that will clear my thighs and butt, the waist is ridiculous! There is no amount of belt that makes it look okay.

First, I will start off by saying that I refuse to wear skinny jeans. No offense to those of you who wear them, but there is nothing skinny about my legs, hence I would look ridiculous in skinny jeans. I honestly think that skinny jeans only look good on only 1 in 100 people. But the damn things have taken over the stores!

So, the other day, I went in search of jeans. I can sometimes find jeans in one of two places: either Old Navy or Express. Those are my options, and not great ones at that. My former favorite hole-in-the-crotch pair were Stella BOOTCUTS (aka wide leg) from Express. I head there in search of the same pair. I am usually either a size 4 or sometimes a 2 so I make my first attempt with a size 4 pair of BOOTCUT jeans. I put them on and immediately we have a problem; they are like skinny jeans on me. Seriously, my thighs are bulging out of these jeans BUT they are way too big in the waist.

I know there is no way in hell my thighs are fitting in a size 2, although the waist would probably be perfect. *Le Sigh* (not to mention the jeans were $80, WTF!)

My other pair of jeans that fit were from Old Navy so I head over there. There are like 10 zillion different styles of jeans first of all, but like Express, the so-called Wide Leg jeans were no bueno for me.

I have this idea that the cut of jeans has become increasingly worse because everybody’s copying each other. People launching a denim line grab a pair of the best selling brand in the market and copy it line for line, errors and all. Dear Clothiers, I need lube to fit into the legs of your jeans and a safety pin to keep them from slipping down my waist.

Dan wonders why I wear sweat pants, athletic clothing or PJ pants on the weekends....