Sitting This One Out

I am supposed to be running a race this weekend - the Decker Half Marathon to be exact. I signed up for it back in September, and it's a race I pretty much run every year. It's known for it's hills. It's easily the hardest half marathon course I've run, tied with the Bearathon half in Waco.

I've been going back and forth this week as to whether or not I am going to run it. I hate signing up for a race and then not running it. Especially since you do not get your money back. But after hemming and hawing, I made the decision not to run the race on Sunday.

There were several factors that went into my decision not to race - some of them legit and some of them are me just having my head up my ass and being a baby.

• If it go to the race, I'm going to race, and I'm going to race hard. And, if I don't do better or comparable to my time last year, I will be disappointed in myself. That's just how I am. I honestly don't feel like I have a good race in me right now, so instead of just going to do my best, I'm not going to do it at all. This is me having my head up my ass.
  
  
• I have been having some knee issues. Particularly when I run hills and run over 10 miles. Given the difficulty of the course, I'm afraid it may do some damage to my knee. I also know that if my knee started to hurt during the race, I would keep running on it and push through it. I really do not want to be sidelined for Phoenix, so I feel it's best not to risk it for this race.
  
  
• My legs don't feel 100% back to normal. It takes more effort for me to run the paces/distances I was running before JFK. While I'm trying to accept that it will take some time, this frustrates me. I imagine in a race situation right now, I would get so frustrated that I wouldn't even enjoy myself.
  
  
• To be honest, I'm just not excited about racing Decker this weekend. This is very unlike me. I could force myself to go run, but that's not healthy. I think a lot of it is post-race letdown after JFK. I've done a lot of research on post race letdown and post race depression before. My readings did yield a lot of similar and logical reasons as to why so many of us get caught in a funk after a race. These include things like a long build up, stern focus on a goal, immersion into the goal specific training, and on and on. All of these say the same thing though. As runners we focus so hard on the goal of the race that we never really look past it. It’s all or nothing on that goal race so when it happens there is nothing left to look forward to. It's always seems the longer the race, the longer the post race let down. I know I'll get back to normal and excited about racing again, I'm just not there yet.
  
  
• I was able to give my bib to a friend of a friend who is excited about racing Decker. So, it's not going to waste. And, I'm much rather someone use it who is excited about the race, rather than my grumpy self.

On another note, there is one thing I am VERY excited about this weekend: our yearly photos with Santa at Pet Smart! Every year, the Basset Hound Rescue (where we got our dogs) hosts Santa photos. Part of the money from pictures goes back to the Rescue, and we get an awesome family photo with Santa. Win, Win!

Dan gets REALLY excited about this ;)